Dealing with challenges in life

I think it is amazing how the Lord's counsel through His prophets is so applicable even after the time it is given. There is a reason the scriptures are so powerful in our lives. Their message is timeless.

 I think this message is timeless as well. It is obviously applicable to the despair some face in the economic and world situation we have today. It was given in 1993 at a CES address by President Hunter (then the Prophet of the Church) Talk can be viewed here.

 "Life has a fair number of challenges in it, and that’s true of life in the 1990s. Indeed, you may be feeling that you have more than your share of problems. These concerns may be global difficulties, such as the devastating famine we see in Somalia and other places in the world, or the incessant sounds of war in the former Yugoslavia, or the Middle East, or India, or Ireland, or so many other locations round the world.
Unfortunately, some of these wars have religious or ethnic overtones, and that makes them even more tragic, if that is possible. These last few years, we have seen our fair share of economic difficulties and recession in every nation. Sometimes those economic challenges get translated into very immediate problems for college students and those trying to earn a living, and perhaps start a family, in their early adult years.
Years ago there was a popular music group formed at BYU named the Three D’s. They took that name from their three singers’ first names. My fear is that if in the nineties our young people were to form a popular singing group, you might still call yourselves the Three D’s, but that could be for Despair, Doom, and Discouragement.
Despair, Doom, and Discouragement are not acceptable views of life for a Latter-day Saint. However high on the charts they are on the hit parade of contemporary news, we must not walk on our lower lip every time a few difficult moments happen to confront us.
I am just a couple of years older than most of you, and in those few extra months I have seen a bit more of life than you have. I want you to know that there have always been some difficulties in mortal life, and there always will be. But knowing what we know, and living as we are supposed to live, there really is no place, no excuse, for pessimism and despair.
In my lifetime I have seen two world wars, plus Korea, plus Vietnam and all that you are currently witnessing. I have worked my way through the Depression and managed to go to law school while starting a young family at the same time. I have seen stock markets and world economics go crazy, and I have seen a few despots and tyrants go crazy, all of which caused quite a bit of trouble around the world in the process.
So I hope you won’t believe all the world’s difficulties have been wedged into your decade, or that things have never been worse than they are for you personally, or that they will never get better. I reassure you that things have been worse and they will always get better. They always do—especially when we live and love the gospel of Jesus Christ and give it a chance to flourish in our lives.
Here are some actual comments that have been passed on to me in recent months:
• This comes from a fine returned missionary: “Why should I date and get serious with a girl? I am not sure I even want to marry and bring a family into this kind of a world. I am not very sure about my own future. How can I take the responsibility for the future of others whom I would love and care about and want to be happy?” • Here’s another from a high school student: “I hope I die before all these terrible things happen that people are talking about. I don’t want to be on the earth when there is so much trouble.” • This from a recent college graduate: “I am doing the best I can, but I wonder if there is much reason to even plan for the future, let alone retirement. The world probably won’t last that long, anyway.” Well, my, my, my. Isn’t that a fine view of things? Sounds like we all ought to go eat a big plate of worms.
Contrary to what some might say, you have every reason in this world to be happy and to be optimistic and to be confident. Every generation since time began has had some things to overcome and some problems to work out. Furthermore, every individual person has a particular set of challenges which sometimes seem to be earmarked for us individually. We understood that in our premortal existence.
Prophets and Apostles of the Church have faced some of those personal difficulties. I acknowledge that I have faced a few, and you will undoubtedly face some of your own now and later in your life. When these experiences humble us and refine us and teach us and bless us, they can be powerful instruments in the hands of God to make us better people, to make us more grateful, more loving, and more considerate of other people in their own times of difficulty.
Yes, we all have difficult moments, individually and collectively, but even in the most severe of times, anciently or in modern times, those problems and prophecies were never intended to do anything but bless the righteous and help those who are less righteous move toward repentance. God loves us, and the scriptures tell us he “gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.” (John 3:16–17.)
The scriptures also indicate that there will be seasons of time when the whole world will have some difficulty. We know that in our dispensation unrighteousness will, unfortunately, be quite evident, and it will bring its inevitable difficulties and pain and punishment. God will cut short that unrighteousness in his own due time, but our task is to live fully and faithfully and not worry ourselves sick about the woes of the world or when it will end. Our task is to have the gospel in our lives and to be a bright light, a city set on the hill, which reflects the beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the joy and happiness that will always come to every people in every age who keep the commandments.
In this last dispensation there will be great tribulation. (See Matt. 24:21.) We know that there will be wars and rumors of wars (see D&C 45:16) and that the whole earth will be in commotion (see D&C 45:26). All dispensations have had their perilous times, but our day will include genuine peril. (See 2 Tim. 3:1.) Evil men will flourish (see 2 Tim. 3:13), but then evil men have very often flourished. Calamities will come and iniquity will abound. (See D&C 45:27.)
Inevitably the natural result of some of these kinds of prophecies is fear, and that is not fear limited to a younger generation. It is fear shared by those of any age who don’t understand what we understand.
But I want to stress that these feelings are not necessary for faithful Latter-day Saints, and they do not come from God. To ancient Israel, the great Jehovah said:
“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. …
“And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.” (Deut. 31:6, 8.)
And to you, our marvelous generation in modern Israel, the Lord has said:
“Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. …
“Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” (D&C 6:34, 36.)
Such counsel is laced throughout our modern scriptures. Listen to this wonderful reassurance: “Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me.” (D&C 50:41.) “Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks.” (D&C 98:1.)
In light of such wonderful counsel, I think it is incumbent upon us to rejoice a little more and despair a little less, to give thanks for what we have and for the magnitude of God’s blessings to us, and to talk a little less about what we may not have or what anxiety may accompany difficult times in this or any generation.
For Latter-day Saints this is a time of great hope and excitement—one of the greatest eras in the Restoration and therefore one of the greatest eras in any dispensation, inasmuch as ours is the greatest of all dispensations. We need to have faith and hope, two of the great fundamental virtues of any discipleship of Christ. We must continue to exercise confidence in God, inasmuch as that is the first principle in our code of belief. We must believe that God has all power, that he loves us, and that his work will not be stopped or frustrated in our individual lives or in the world generally. He will bless us as a people because he always has blessed us as a people. He will bless us as individuals because he always has blessed us as individuals.
Listen to this marvelous counsel given by President Joseph F. Smith nearly ninety years ago. It sounds as if young people in that day might have been a little anxious about their future as well. I quote:
“You do not need to worry in the least, the Lord will take care of you and bless you. He will also take care of His servants, and will bless them and help them to accomplish His purposes; and all the powers of darkness combined in earth and in hell cannot prevent it. … He has stretched forth His hand to accomplish his purposes, and the arm of flesh cannot stay it. He will cut His work short in righteousness, and will hasten His purposes in His own time. It is only necessary for us to try with our might to keep pace with the onward progress of the work of the Lord, then God will preserve and protect us, and will prepare the way before us, that we shall live and multiply and replenish the earth and always do His will.” (Joseph F. Smith, in Conference Report, Oct. 1905, pp. 5–6.)
More recently, Elder Marion G. Romney, then of the Quorum of the Twelve, counseled the Church. This was twenty-five years ago, when the world also knew some difficulty. An American president had been assassinated, communism was alive and menacing, and a war was beginning to widen in Southeast Asia. My sons were of college age at that time, and they had some of the same anxieties young adults today have about life and marriage and the future. Here’s what President Romney said then:
“Naturally, believing Christians, even those who have a mature faith in the gospel, are concerned and disturbed by the lowering clouds on the horizon. But they need not be surprised or frantic about their portent, for, as has already been said, at the very beginning of this last dispensation the Lord made it abundantly clear that through the tribulations and calamity that he foresaw and foretold and that we now see coming upon us, there would be a people who, through acceptance and obedience to the gospel, would be able to recognize and resist the powers of evil, build up the promised Zion, and prepare to meet the Christ and be with him in the blessed Millennium. And we know further that it is possible for every one of us, who will, to have a place among those people. It is this assurance and this expectation that give us understanding of the Lord’s admonition, ‘Be not troubled.’” (Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Oct. 1966, pp. 53–54.)
Let me offer a third example from yet another moment of difficulty in the world. In the midst of the most devastating international conflagration the modern world has ever seen, Elder John A. Widtsoe of the Council of the Twelve counseled people who were worried. Nazism was on the march, there was war in the Pacific, and nation after nation seemed to be drawn into war. Mind you, this was 1942, not 1992 or ’93. This is what Brother Widtsoe said:
“Above the roar of cannon and airplane, the maneuvers and plans of men, the Lord always determines the tide of battle. So far and no farther does He permit the evil one to go in his career to create human misery. The Lord is ever victorious; He is the Master to whose will Satan is subject. Though all hell may rage, and men may follow evil, the purposes of the Lord will not fail.” (John A. Widtsoe, in Conference Report, Apr. 1942, p. 34.)
I promise you in the name of the Lord whose servant I am that God will always protect and care for his people. We will have our difficulties the way every generation and people have had difficulties. But with the gospel of Jesus Christ, you have every hope and promise and reassurance. The Lord has power over his Saints and will always prepare places of peace, defense, and safety for his people. When we have faith in God we can hope for a better world—for us personally, and for all mankind. The prophet Ether taught anciently (and he knew something about troubles): “Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.” (Ether 12:4.)
Disciples of Christ in every generation are invited, indeed commanded, to be filled with a perfect brightness of hope. (See 2 Ne. 31:20.)
This faith and hope of which I speak is not a Pollyanna-like approach to significant personal and public problems. I don’t believe we can wake up in the morning and simply by drawing a big “happy face” on the chalkboard believe that is going to take care of the world’s difficulties. But if our faith and hope are anchored in Christ, in his teachings, commandments, and promises, then we are able to count on something truly remarkable, genuinely miraculous, which can part the Red Sea and lead modern Israel to a place “where none shall come to hurt or make afraid.” (Hymns, 1985, no. 30.) Fear, which can come upon people in difficult days, is a principal weapon in the arsenal which Satan uses to make mankind unhappy. He who fears loses strength for the combat of life in the fight against evil. Therefore the power of the evil one always tries to generate fear in human hearts. In every age and in every era, mankind has faced fear.
As children of God and descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, we must seek to dispel fear from among people. A timid, fearing people cannot do their work well, and they cannot do God’s work at all. The Latter-day Saints have a divinely assigned mission to fulfill which simply must not be dissipated in fear and anxiety.
An Apostle of the Lord in an earlier day said this: “The key to the conquest of fear has been given through the Prophet Joseph Smith. ‘If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.’ (D&C 38:30.) That divine message needs repeating today in every stake and ward.” (Elder John A. Widtsoe, in Conference Report, Apr. 1942, p. 33.)
Are we prepared to surrender to God’s commandments? Are we prepared to achieve victory over our appetites? Are we prepared to obey righteous law? If we can honestly answer yes to those questions, we can bid fear to depart from our lives. Surely the degree of fear in our hearts may well be measured by our preparation to live righteously—living in a way that should characterize every Latter-day Saint in every age and time.
Let me close with one of the greatest statements I have ever read from the Prophet Joseph Smith, who faced such immense difficulties in his life and who, of course, paid the ultimate price for his victory. But he was victorious, and he was a happy, robust, optimistic man. Those who knew him felt his strength and courage, even in the darkest of times. He did not sag in spirits, or long remain in any despondency.
He said about our time—yours and mine—that ours is the moment “upon which prophets, priests and kings [in ages past] have dwelt with peculiar delight; [all these ancient witnesses for God] have looked forward with joyful anticipation to the day in which we live; and fired with heavenly and joyful anticipations they have sung and written and prophesied of this our day; … we are the favored people that God has [chosen] to bring about the Latter-day glory.” (History of the Church, 4:609–10.)
What a privilege! What an honor! What a responsibility! And what joy! We have every reason in time and eternity to rejoice and give thanks for the quality of our lives and the promises we have been given. May we do so, I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

I'm BAAACCK!

So I abandoned this blog because it seemed pointless.  There were so many blogs just like I wanted this one to be.  But I've decided with the abundance of great information out there, I need yet another place to keep track of all the good articles, talks, ideas, etc.  There are so many ideas I want to "save for later"  but I know I will never remember them.  So I want to add them here.  I have private blogs where I save my ideas for recipes/home decor and such (since I had them before pinterest was invented) but I decided I want this one to be public because there really is great information out there and it's not just for me.
So I plan on posting whenever I find something great that I want to save for later or apply now.

Road Warriors

I'm a little biased because I grew up with her, but Melissa is amazing.  She contacted me years ago about this article and we all thought it would never make it through the LONG process to become an Ensign article.

Road Warriors & Strong Families

Melissa Merrill

Road warriors aren’t anything new, but to a family facing work-related travel, particularly for an extended period, the separation is very real—and potentially disrupting. How principles from The Family: A Proclamation to the World are helping these road-warrior families. minimize the distance.

With 35 work-related moves in their 28 years of marriage, Ross and Lyndy Larsen had long accepted their mobile lifestyle and embraced the opportunities it gave them and their children to experience a variety of cultures. Yet when Ross was offered a new job in 2004 as a cruise-ship executive—a prospect that would allow their family to settle permanently in Lyndy’s childhood hometown in New Zealand—the Larsens welcomed the opportunity to put down roots.
They also knew that the position would bring a different set of challenges: Ross’s work would require him to be at sea four months at a time, followed by a two-month vacation period at the end of each assignment.
Ross maintained that work schedule for four years. Today, he works full-time in New Zealand, but the family is grateful for the time they spent in their less-than-traditional circumstances. Although they realize that their situation was not necessarily ideal, they say it provided them great opportunities for learning and growth, particularly as they focused on developing family relationships.
“We realize the sacredness of the family unit and how essential it is to our eternal progression,” says Lyndy. “Gospel principles, especially those found in ‘The Family: A Proclamation to the World,’ have provided us a strong foundation on which we continue to build. We did not think of our situation as a stumbling block to progress, rather as an opportunity to make a concerted effort to put into practice gospel principles our Savior, Jesus Christ, taught.
“We have felt His love and His tender mercies toward us individually and have taken comfort in the realization that He is aware of our situation and will always be there to give us strength. We have learned from this experience just how much we love and need Him.”
Throughout the world, families like the Larsens are clinging to gospel principles to help them make the most of work-related separation situations. Here, members share how “faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities”1 are helping them build strong families.

Faith

Brian Daems of Utah, USA, works as a corporate pilot, a job that requires him to fly internationally for up to 10 days at a time. His work takes him from home 14 days per month, on average. He and his wife, Lisa, have found that one of the best ways “to keep the family and home running” is staying faithful with family prayer, family home evening, and family scripture study. The couple works to maintain these practices with their three young children whether Brian is at home or not.
“I want to do all I can to make our family relationship strong because it is more important than business, travel, or money and will last forever if we follow the Lord’s commands,” Brian says. “I know many other men who travel extensively and are still able to be good fathers and husbands and fulfill their church assignments effectively. I admire these fine men, as well as well-traveled leaders like President [Thomas S.] Monson and former airline captain President [Dieter F.] Uchtdorf. They are great examples to me.”
Rob Barlow of Michigan, USA, travels extensively as a software sales executive. Although he and his wife, Lori, had worried about the potential to grow together spiritually as a couple, the Barlows have found that spiritual impressions aren’t limited by distance.
“One of the most significant experiences of our lives happened while I was on a business trip in France,” Rob recalls. “There were some situations in our lives, including a job change, that would affect our family, that we needed to think about. After reading the scriptures and praying about what needed to happen, that spark of revelation came. Because of the time difference, I had to wait a few hours before I could call Lori and share with her what I had found, but when I did, I learned that she had felt a similar feeling, and we knew what we needed to do.”
Being able to share faith-building practices and faith-promoting experiences, the Barlows say, has helped them maintain strong ties as a couple and as a family.

Prayer

Jim Potts of Idaho, USA, works as an insurance examiner and travels throughout the United States performing his duties. He and his wife, Kayleen, have found that communication—not only with each other but also with the Lord—is essential in keeping their relationship strong.
“We communicate every day through e-mail,” Kayleen says. “Every night before I go to bed, I write Jim a good-morning e-mail so that when he wakes up and logs onto his computer, he has a message from me. We also talk on the phone every night. It’s then that we hold scripture study and pray together.”
She has also made a consistent effort in her personal prayers. “This helps us feel the Spirit in our home so that it is a peaceful and calm place.” That, she says, makes a tremendous difference, particularly when her husband is on the road and she might otherwise feel nervous.
“We have found that out of our small efforts come big things, and that often the small things touch hearts so much more than the great big ones,” Kayleen says.

Repentance and Forgiveness

Luke and Fronica Saurman of England have dealt with periods of extended absence for six of the eight years they’ve been married. Luke’s assignment with the United States Department of Defense requires a lot of travel, much of which can be long term and scheduled with short notice.
“I think attitudes of selflessness and service help both of us,” says Luke. Thinking only of yourself can trap you in despair, he says, but “if you look outward and especially upward, problems are forgotten or at least minimized.”
He’s quick to acknowledge that repentance and forgiveness are critical elements in his family’s lifestyle, just as they are for all families. “With each separation, Fronica and I both make mistakes with the way we interact with each other. For her, it gets difficult with heightened tensions of being at home alone with three children, or for me, being in a combat situation. We may say or do things out of exhaustion or in an overheated moment. That’s what repentance and forgiveness are for. And with each assignment, we’re doing better than we did with the last.”
Fronica points out that the principle of forgiveness has also helped her outside the family. Occasionally, when someone has made an insensitive comment about her husband’s volunteering to take certain work assignments or critical remarks about her being at home with their children, she has found it helpful to give the person the benefit of the doubt. “They probably don’t know our circumstances like we do,” she says. “I have learned to realize that most people wouldn’t say the things they sometimes say if they understood better.”

Respect

Kayleen Potts says that it’s important for her to show her husband respect not only by how she interacts and corresponds with him directly but also by what she says to others about their circumstances. “Instead of moaning and groaning about being apart, be grateful to have a job,” she recommends. “It’s not helpful for me to take on a woe-is-me attitude or to feel like I’m being neglected or to complain to others. It is helpful to recognize that this kind of work is what my husband does best and to be grateful that he’s able to make a living doing something he’s good at.”
By pointing out the positive aspects of their family’s circumstances, Kayleen helps everyone feel optimistic. Her husband, Jim, says, “Knowing that Kayleen is supportive of what I do makes an otherwise difficult time of separation more bearable.”

Love

Three months after they married, Dave and Lalove Foster of Idaho, USA, faced their first major absence from each other. Due to David’s military obligations, the couple spent the next year and a half apart.
“It was really important that we keep in close contact,” Lalove explains. “I wrote him e-mails almost daily, sometimes more than that. I told him about what I was doing and funny little things that happened during my day; even little things are important because they really make you feel like you’re a part of the other person’s life.”
Regular e-mailing helped the couple express their love, Lalove says, and as a result, she says she has felt a greater appreciation for her husband. “Even though it was a tough way to start our marriage, in some ways it was good. When Dave came home and we really settled into married life, we both had a deeper appreciation and gratitude for each other.
“Being apart made both David and me grateful for the sealing power and the opportunity the Savior has given us to be together forever. While David was living in a war zone, we were so grateful to know that no matter what, because of the Savior, we would be able to see each other again. This huge comfort allowed faith to replace our fears.”
Expressions of love can help cement not only husband-wife relationships but also parent-child relationships. Before Brian Daems leaves on a work trip, he likes to write “I love you” on several sticky notes. He then hides the notes throughout the house for his family to find. “When we visit on the phone, the children are excited to report how many notes they found and where they found them,” Brian says. Likewise, he often finds cards and drawings from his family in his suitcase, and occasionally, his wife and children will fax “I love you” messages to his hotel.
“These fun surprises brighten my day instantly. As we work to come up with ideas and then carry them out, it strengthens our love for each other,” Brian says.

Compassion

Darin Palmer of Kentucky, USA, began traveling early in his career, when he and his wife, Heather, had two small children. Adjusting to the schedule was hard on their whole family, Heather says, and often when she and Darin would talk at night, conversation would center on the “frustration and exhaustion” each was experiencing.
The couple knew that it was important to talk about their respective challenges, but they also decided that they’d each try “to have two or three things to talk about that didn’t involve the stresses of traveling,” Heather says. “These have included interesting things my husband has seen in his various destinations, something funny our children have done, and insights we’ve had in our recent scripture study.”
Showing compassion by focusing conversation not only on challenges but on interesting, positive subjects helped improve the couple’s communication during periods of separation as well as in general. “My love for Darin and what we know about marriage makes me want to work at maintaining our relationship,” Heather continues. “Darin feels the same way. We know that our relationship is deeper than this job, this year, this life—it reaches into the eternities. If we feel as though we are losing connection, we sit down with each other and discuss things we can do that could work better for us and for our children. As we have worked together and looked to the Lord to find solutions and remain positive, we have felt our relationship with each other and with the Savior grow.”

Work

Most people who live with frequent travel as a normal aspect of their lives will agree that it takes a great deal of work, both during separation and after a reunion. Ross and Lyndy Larsen found that technology played a helpful role in the work they did while Ross was at sea. Using Webcams, text messaging, e-mail, and phone calls, the Larsens were able to discuss important family matters. For instance, Lyndy would ask for her husband’s thoughts on how to move forward with a family concern or plan. “Even when I was away, I could still participate in family affairs,” Ross notes.
LuAnn Weaver of Utah, USA, whose husband, Lance, works as a commercial airline pilot, says, “When Lance is gone, I have to make the ‘everyday’ decisions by myself. When he is back in town, I have to remember that he is there and to include him. However, the ‘important’ decisions concerning our family have already been made, and whether he is there or not, our family tries to implement those decisions. They include attending our church meetings and having family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evening. By practicing those aspects of the gospel, I can make those ‘everyday’ decisions and stay focused on what is really important—our relationship with each other as a family and knowing and loving our Savior.”
The Weavers’ children are now grown, and LuAnn acknowledges that looking back, much of the work of raising their children seems relatively easy. “However, when you’re in the middle of it all, it’s difficult. But it was important that we worked together to establish the gospel as a way of life. It has blessed our lives, and now as we see our children raising families of their own, it is a joy to see them teaching their children of our Savior and practicing the gospel.”

Wholesome Recreational Activities

One of the Weavers’ children, Ashley Isenbarger of Utah, USA, says that she never felt that she was shortchanged because of her dad’s work schedule. That, she says, is due to the emphasis her parents placed on family togetherness. “I didn’t grow up thinking our situation was difficult,” she says. “In my eyes, it was normal. And while my dad’s schedule was hard some months, there were good things about it too.”
For instance, when Lance was home during the summer months, the family would often go biking or swimming, during the daytime. “Those kinds of family activities wouldn’t have been possible if Dad had had a  typical 9-to-5 job,” Ashley points out. “I’m grateful my parents realized our time together was precious—we just had to use it differently than most families. I know that nothing else in this world matters more than our family relationships. They are what the plan of salvation is all about.”
Ashley and her husband, Kyle, are now raising their own family. Though Kyle doesn’t travel frequently, working full time and attending school part time mean long hours away from home. “The time our children and I get with him is precious,” Ashley adds. But the Isenbargers make family recreation a priority so that as their children grow, “they will have good times to remember and will expect that family comes first.”
Ross Larsen appreciates that same kind of attitude in his family. “I enjoyed my assignments at sea, but I really love my time spent at home with the family,” he says. “Our time together is a priority. We celebrated birthdays, even if it was after the actual date. We’d go to the temple. We’d play together. We’d talk about the future.”
It has been through these activities, Lyndy says, that family love has become more evident and easier to feel. The principles outlined in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” have become not just ideals but a way of life.

Divine Nature and Destiny of Women

The Divine Nature 
and Destiny of Women

GLENN L. PACE

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“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” states: All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.¹
My focus this morning will be on the divine nature and destiny of women and the sacred role they play in the sanctification and purification of men.
I’m going to start by giving you two exclusive scoops. First, males and females are different. Second, those differences are more than physical.
I developed a love and appreciation for womanhood in my childhood. My mother, sisters, grandmas, aunts, and female cousins and friends brought immeasurable love into my young life. This set the stage for the adult relationships with my wife, daughters, and granddaughters.
All of the above have contributed to my feelings of reverence, adoration, and even veneration of righteous women.
In pondering the effect women have had on my life, I have concluded that there has been a metamorphosis of my spirit that could not have taken place without these relationships.
Of course, the first woman in my life was my mother. How can I describe the impact of my mother’s love? A lullaby, being tucked in bed, are you warm enough, a kiss goodnight, Glenn, you’d better get up, you don’t want to be late for school, a kiss good morning, you are such a special boy, oh honey, how I love you, I made some chocolate chip cookies, I want to take your picture, I’m so proud of you, I know you can do it, are you going to go on a mission, you are going to go on a mission, I miss you so much, frequent love notes, let’s go look at the roses, did you see the full moon, aren’t the mountains beautiful today, the love in her eyes, her touch, her smell, her elegance, her tender heart, her sensitivity, her femininity.
That was just a blink in a lifetime of nurturing.
In addition to the loving care I received from my mother, I received similar nurturing from my big sister, who was my mentor and protector.
When I was old enough to enter kindergarten, I was worried sick. I had watched my sister do her homework and was concerned by the fact that I didn’t know how to read or do arithmetic. The night before school started, my apprehension must have shown, because she came into the bedroom and started talking to me about school. I explained my concerns, and she immediately began to allay my fears. She told me about recess. I could handle that. Then she explained that I would be taught to read one word at a time, and she assured me that I was smart and wouldn’t have any trouble.
Now, how would a brother handle a situation like that?
“Wow, you’re in big trouble! You may never graduate from kindergarten. But I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. If you will give me your allowance, I’ll help you.”
As I mentioned earlier, men and women are different.
My appreciation for women rose to a whole new dimension when our two daughters came into our lives. There is something angelic about daughters—at least in the eyes of their father.
I have sometimes lamented that I wasn’t born with the perspective daughters brought into my life. If a man could be born with that insight, his respect for and treatment of a young woman during his dating years would  improve significantly.
I remember a time when my oldest daughter was just six or seven years old. I was struggling with saying my personal prayers on a consistent basis. I remember walking into her bedroom one night to listen to her say her prayers. Her room felt so peaceful, innocent, and pure that I felt like praying. I explained as best I could that I’d like to get into the habit of saying my prayers and asked if I could pray at her bedside. She looked a little puzzled but agreed. On the second or third night, as I began my silent prayer, I felt her little hand on my head. She then turned on her side and with both hands began running her fingers through my hair. I felt touched by an angel. I must admit, it felt so good that my prayers became longer.
To this day, whenever there is a family gathering, I will eventually work my way over to the couch or chair where she is located, sit on the floor, and wait for her to run her fingers through my hair.
From the time my second daughter was a baby through her early grade-school years, I would rock her to sleep at night and carry her to bed. I always knew when she was asleep because tiny beads of perspiration would appear on her little nose. I would look at her angelic face and wonder if heaven could feel any better than this.
I concluded it must be a great comfort to her to fall asleep in her father’s arms. Now I realize the peace and comfort she transmitted to me was possibly even greater.
I have always been impressed with the love and respect our Savior bestowed upon the women in His life. As we read about these associations, our focus is generally on what He taught them and the love and understanding He gave them. Have you ever considered the possibility that these women provided immense comfort to His burdened soul? It is my belief that He needed them as He journeyed toward living a perfect life so He could provide the ultimate sacrifice.
I repeat that my associations and interplay with the righteous women in my life have created a metamorphosis of my spirit and have been purifying and sanctifying.
I’d now like to turn to the more intimate relationship of husband and wife and the impact that relationship has on our exaltation.
You are all familiar with the story of the Creation. I’m going to pick up the account where Adam was placed on the earth. Please pay particular attention to the sequence of events leading up to the introduction of Eve.
And the Gods formed man from the dust of the ground, and took his spirit (that is, the man’s spirit), and put it into him; and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.
And the Gods planted a garden, eastward in Eden, and there they put the man, whose spirit they had put into the body which they had formed.
And out of the ground made the Gods to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food; the tree of life, also, in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. [Abraham 5:7–9]
Thus far there is no mention of Eve.
And out of the ground I, the Lord God, formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and commanded that they should come unto Adam, to see what he would call them; and they were also living souls; for I, God, breathed into them the breath of life, and commanded that whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that should be the name thereof.
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but as for Adam, there was not found an help meet for him. [Moses 3:19–20]
In summary, before Eve appeared, the world had been created, Adam had been placed in the Garden of Eden, and he had named and associated with all of the animals. He was enjoying a utopia in physical surroundings as well as open communication with God. What more could he ask for? What more could he need?
As President J. Reuben Clark put it:
Adam wandered alone in the glorious Garden in Eden, which he had dressed and adorned—the Garden of Eden with its stately trees, its lovely flowers heavy with sweet odors, its grassy swards, its magnificent vistas with the far reaches of its placid rivers, with its gaily plumed birds, its lordly and graceful beasts, all at peace, for sin was not yet in the world. Through all this magnificence Adam wandered, lonely, unsolaced, uncompanioned, the only being of his kind in the whole world, his life unshared in a solitude of exquisite elegance, and, what was of far greater moment, his mission, as he knew it to be, impossible of fulfillment, except the Father gave him an helpmeet.²
I’d like to share a perspective from John Milton’s Paradise Lost that fully resonates with my soul.
Much like President Clark, Milton describes the beauty of the Garden and the variety of animals. However, he goes into more detail on his perception of Adam’s frustration and loneliness. In his account, Adam watches the interplay between the animals and communicates with them as best he can. However, Adam concludes something is drastically amiss. Milton wrote:
They rejoice
Each with their kind, lion with lioness;
So fitly them in pairs thou hast combin’d;
Much less can bird with beast, or fish with fowl
So well converse, nor with the ox the ape;
Worse then can man with beast, and least of all.³
In other words, Adam is saying, “What’s wrong with this picture?”
Milton goes on to suggest that God delayed the introduction of Eve until Adam could fully appreciate her. Seeing that Adam is now ready for the introduction of Eve, God describes what is going to happen next. I love Milton’s description of what Eve would mean to Adam:
What next I bring shall please thee, be assur’d,
Thy likeness, thy fit help, thy other self,
Thy wish exactly to thy heart’s desire.⁴
“Thy fit help”? No, this doesn’t mean she would be in good shape. It means she would be a match, a complement, a counterpart, even his “other self.”
Finally, Eve stood before him, and she exceeded his highest expectations. He had never seen anything like her in the garden. Milton continues:
Under his forming hands a creature grew,
Manlike, but different sex, so lovely fair,
That what seem’d fair in all the world, seem’d now
Mean, or in her summ’d up, in her contain’d,
And in her looks, which from that time infus’d
Sweetness into my heart, unfelt before.⁵
I hope Milton will forgive me for adding my opinion that the “sweetness” Adam felt, which was “unfelt before,” was much more than that which was generated by Eve’s physical appearance. Those feelings flowing into him had as their source her wellspring. His feelings were the direct result of standing in front of one of the daughters of heavenly parents who had a divine nature different from, but complementary to, his own divine nature.
I believe the Father’s statement “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18) had a much more profound meaning than the obvious biological implications. It also went further than providing Adam with “company.” Adam’s ability to obtain the purification necessary to get back into the presence of God was dependent upon his continuous association with Eve.
Remember what Adam said when Eve stood beside him for the first time: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh” (Abraham 5:18).
Many years after the creation of Adam and Eve, Paul said, “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).
In the Doctrine and Covenants we read:
In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;
And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];
And if he does not, he cannot obtain it. [D&C 131:1–3]
Why can’t he obtain it? It’s not just because he didn’t obey a celestial commandment. It’s because he didn’t become a celestial being. There is a limit to our spiritual development as long as we are single. There is a spiritual development that can only be obtained when a man and a woman join their incomplete selves into a complete couple. Just as conception requires the physical union of male and female, perfection requires the union of the very souls of male and female.
Elder Richard G. Scott has said:
In the Lord’s plan, it takes two—a man and a woman—to form a whole. Indeed, a husband and wife are not two identical halves, but a wondrous, divinely determined combination of complementary capacities and characteristics.⁶
Men and women can accomplish marvelous things alone. However, they are incomplete until united intellectually, emotionally, physically, and, most important, spiritually.
The world we live in has gone awry with its focus on the physical part of the male and female relationship. If there is too much focus on the physical, the vital areas of intellectual, emotional, and spiritual union are not being placed in an environment where they can flourish and grow. Our current society is so obsessed with “making love” that they are not developing a complete relationship that would enable them to “express love.”
Since melding our divine natures is a necessary element in bringing about perfection, we must guard against any deterioration of those natures. Sisters, keep in mind anything that detracts from your divine nature should be avoided. You live in a time when you have more opportunities and options available to you than any other women have had throughout the history of mankind. Some of these options will complement your God-given natures. Others will chip away at it. Some things will make you strong. Others will make you hard. Some will  increase your spiritual sensitivity. Others will separate you from the Spirit.
If the world keeps chipping away at the divine nature of women, it is probable that our relationships in marriage will not bring about the sanctification necessary for exaltation or, as a minimum, the process will be delayed.
I express my love and appreciation to my wife. She is an example of one who has retained her eternal nature through 47 years of marriage, six children, 29 grandchildren, and putting up with me.
Wearing that eternal nature well, she has supported me as a General Authority for 25 years. I could not have served nor would I have been qualified to serve without her love and support. She has been the crucial key to the metamorphosis I desperately needed to become worthy and able to serve.
Her eternal nature and destiny was never clearer to me than at the temple marriage of our youngest son. I have had the sacred honor of performing the temple marriages of all six of our children, and they along with their spouses were worthy to be in attendance on this occasion.
Prior to the ceremony as I spoke of sacred things, I looked at my wife, who was seated next to our son. My  spiritual eyes were opened, and I saw her shining in all of her glory as she basked in the warmth of having joy and rejoicing in her posterity. She was radiant. I saw before me a priestess, queen, and goddess. There is absolutely nothing the world can offer that could come close to the fulfillment she was feeling. There was no accomplishment in the world she could have attained that would have made me love her more or be more proud of her efforts. Her eternal nature was then and is now still intact.
We commonly hear the phrase “Men have the priesthood and women have been given the blessing of procreation.” Without perfection, neither assignment meets the full measure of its creation. After perfection comes the ultimate role of god or goddess. These are eternal roles in which one continues to complement the other throughout all eternity.
It is the marriage ceremony in the temple in which husband and wife receive the power to perfect their relationship and, thereby, obtain their exaltation.
Elder John A. Widtsoe put it this way:
Modern revelation sets forth the high destiny of those who are sealed for everlasting companionship. They will be given opportunity for a greater use of their powers. That means progress. They will attain more readily to their place in the presence of the Lord; they will increase more rapidly in every divine power; they will approach more nearly to the likeness of God; they will more completely realize their divine destiny. And this progress is not delayed until life after death. It begins here, today, for those who yield obedience to the law.⁷
I emphasize that the power coming down from heaven on those married in the temple by the holy priesthood cannot alone bring about the progress mentioned by Elder Widtsoe. It takes the righteous interplay of male and female.
I like the Quaker proverb “Thee lift me and I’ll lift thee and we’ll both ascend together.”⁸
What will happen when we finally “ascend together”? I can put it no better than did one of the great women in our history, Eliza R. Snow, who said:
When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I’ve completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.⁹
Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your heavenly parents in those royal courts on high and look into Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role of women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich celestial air, because at that moment you will see standing directly in front of you, your divine nature and destiny. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mothers Teaching Children in the Home

By Elder L. Tom Perry Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

I recently had the opportunity to travel with Elder Donald L. Hallstrom to visit five cities in the great central area of the United States. In each city we visited, we would hold a meeting with the full-time missionaries, followed by a meeting with the stake and ward leaders regarding missionary work. Between each of the two meetings, the stake Relief Society would prepare a light dinner for us to afford us time to meet with the stake presidents. When we reached Milwaukee, Wisconsin, two young families appealed to the Relief Society to let them prepare and serve the dinner. The two husbands manned the kitchen. The two mothers supervised the table arrangements and the serving of the food. Three young children handled the table setting and the serving of the food under the supervision of their mothers. This was an opportunity for the mothers to have a teaching opportunity with their children. It was very special to watch the children respond to every detail as they were taught by their mothers. They carried out their assignments completely and fully.
The experience caused me to reflect on the training I had received from my mother. Like the prophet Nephi and also like so many of you, I was born of goodly parents (see 1 Nephi 1:1).
One of my nieces recently shared with me four notebooks my mother had filled with notes as she prepared to teach her class in Relief Society. I would imagine these notebooks—and there are others I have not yet examined—represent hundreds of hours of preparation by my mother.
Mother was a great teacher who was diligent and thorough in her preparation. I have distinct memories of the days preceding her lessons. The dining room table would be covered with reference materials and the notes she was preparing for her lesson. There was so much material prepared that I’m sure only a small portion of it was ever used during the class, but I’m just as sure that none of her preparation was ever wasted. How can I be sure about this? As I flipped through the pages of her notebooks, it was as if I were hearing my mother teach me one more time. Again, there was too much in her notebooks on any single topic to ever share in a single class session, but what she didn’t use in her class she used to teach her children.
I believe it is even safe to say that while my mother was an enormously effective teacher among the sisters at Relief Society, her best teaching occurred with her children in the home. Of course, this was largely due to the greater amount of time she had to teach her children compared to teaching the Relief Society sisters, but I also like to think she prepared so thoroughly, first, to be an example to her children of diligent Church service and, second, because she recognized that what she learned from preparing her lessons could be used repeatedly for a higher purpose—teaching her sons and her daughters.
Please allow me to reminisce for a few moments and share a few of the lessons I learned from my mother about teaching the gospel in the home. My mother understood the value of teaching her children about standards, values, and doctrine while they were young. While she was grateful to others who taught her children outside the home at either school or church, she recognized that parents are entrusted with the education of their children and, ultimately, parents must ensure that their children are being taught what their Heavenly Father would have them learn. My siblings and I were quizzed very carefully by our mother after we had been taught away from the home to be certain the correct lessons were reaching our ears and shaping our minds.
I used to think some days as I ran home from school that I was through learning for the day, but this illusion was quickly destroyed when I saw my mother standing at the door waiting for me. When we were young, we each had a desk in the kitchen where we could continue to be taught by her as she performed household duties and prepared supper. She was a natural teacher and far more demanding of us than our teachers at school and church.
The scope of Mother’s teaching included both secular and spiritual lessons. She made sure none of us were falling behind in our schoolwork, which she would often supplement. She also would practice her Relief Society lessons with us. We, of course, received the unabridged versions found in her notebooks, not the abridged versions that had to fit in a single class period.
Part of our learning at home also involved memorizing scriptures, including the Articles of Faith, and the words of prophets, seers, and revelators. My mother was someone who believed a mind would become weak if it was not constantly exercised. She taught us as we would wash the dishes, churn the butter, and help in many other ways. She did not believe in letting idle thoughts enter her children’s minds, even when they were engaged in physical labor.
I am not using my mother as a role model for parents in today’s world. Times are very different today, but while times may change, a parent’s teaching must never be devalued. Many activities link the values of one generation to the next, but perhaps the most central of these activities is parents teaching children in the home. This is especially true when we consider the teaching of values, moral and ethical standards, and faith.
Teaching in the home is becoming increasingly important in today’s world, where the influence of the adversary is so widespread and he is attacking, attempting to erode and destroy the very foundation of our society, even the family. Parents must resolve that teaching in the home is a most sacred and important responsibility. While other institutions, such as church and school, can assist parents to “train up a child in the way he [or she] should go” (Proverbs 22:6), ultimately this responsibility rests with parents. According to the  great plan of happiness, it is parents who are entrusted with the care and development of our Heavenly Father’s children. Our families are an integral part of His work and glory—“to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). On God’s eternal stage, it is usually intended that parents act as the central cast members in their children’s lives. Fortunately, there are understudies involved in the production who may step in when parents can’t. It, however, is parents who have been commanded by the Lord to bring up their children in light and truth (see D&C 93:40).
Parents must bring light and truth into their homes by one family prayer, one scripture study session, one family home evening, one book read aloud, one song, and one family meal at a time. They know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustaining forces for good in the world. The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home.
Elder Joseph Fielding Smith taught: “It is the duty of parents to teach their children these saving principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, so that they will know why they are to be baptized and that they may be impressed in their hearts with a desire to continue to keep the commandments of God after they are baptized, that they may come back into his presence. Do you, my good brethren and sisters, want your families, your children; do you want to be sealed to your fathers and your mothers before you … ? If so, then you must begin by teaching at the cradle-side. You are to teach by example as well as precept” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1948, 153).
The example of my mother as a teacher in the home invites another thought, more generally about teaching. The leaders of the Church spend a great deal of time thinking about how to improve teaching in the Church. Why do we invest this time and effort? It is because we believe in the immense power of teaching to increase the faith of individuals and strengthen families. It is my belief that one of the most effective things we can do to improve teaching in the Church is to improve teaching in our homes. Our teaching in the home prepares us to teach more effectively at church, and our teaching at church helps us to teach more effectively at home. Throughout the Church there are dining room tables covered with reference materials and notebooks filled with ideas for lessons to be taught. There is no such thing as overpreparing to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ, for gospel insights, whether or not they are used during class time, can always be taught in the home.
The inspired document “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” states:
“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. …
“… By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners” (Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
According to “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” the principles I have taught about teaching in the home apply to both parents, but they are especially crucial to the role of a mother. Fathers most often spend much of their day away from home in their employment. That is one of the many reasons so much of the responsibility for teaching the child in the home falls on mothers. While circumstances do vary and the ideal isn’t always possible, I believe it is by divine design that the role of motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation. We see so many challenges today from distracting and destructive influences intended to mislead God’s children. We are seeing many young people who lack the deep spiritual roots necessary to remain standing in faith as storms of unbelief and despair swirl around them. Too many of our Father in Heaven’s children are being overcome by worldly desires. The onslaught of wickedness against our children is at once more subtle and more brazen than it has ever been. Teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in the home adds another layer of insulation to protect our children from worldly influences.
God bless you wonderful mothers and fathers in Zion. He has entrusted to your care His eternal children. As parents we partner, even join, with God in bringing to pass His work and glory among His children. It is our sacred duty to do our very best. Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

 

Continue in Patience

By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf Second Counselor in the First Presidency

In the 1960s, a professor at Stanford University began a modest experiment testing the willpower of four-year-old children. He placed before them a large marshmallow and then told them they could eat it right away or, if they waited for 15 minutes, they could have two marshmallows.
He then left the children alone and watched what happened behind a two-way mirror. Some of the children ate the marshmallow immediately; some could wait only a few minutes before giving in to temptation. Only 30 percent were able to wait.
It was a mildly interesting experiment, and the professor moved on to other areas of research, for, in his own words, “there are only so many things you can do with kids trying not to eat marshmallows.” But as time went on, he kept track of the children and began to notice an interesting correlation: the children who could not wait struggled later in life and had more behavioral problems, while those who waited tended to be more positive and better motivated, have higher grades and incomes, and have healthier relationships.
What started as a simple experiment with children and marshmallows became a landmark study suggesting that the ability to wait—to be patient—was a key character trait that might predict later success in life.1

Waiting Can Be Hard

Waiting can be hard. Children know it, and so do adults. We live in a world offering fast food, instant messaging, on-demand movies, and immediate answers to the most trivial or profound questions. We don’t like to wait. Some even feel their blood pressure rise when their line at the grocery store moves slower than those around them.
Patience—the ability to put our desires on hold for a time—is a precious and rare virtue. We want what we want, and we want it now. Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter.
Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace.
As parents, we know how unwise it would be to indulge our children’s every desire. But children are not the only ones who spoil when showered with immediate gratification. Our Heavenly Father knows what good parents come to understand over time: if children are ever going to mature and reach their potential, they must learn to wait.

Patience Isn’t Merely Waiting

When I was 10 years old, my family became refugees in a new land. I had always been a good student in school—that is, until we arrived in West Germany. There, my educational experience was a significantly different one. The geography we studied in my school was new to me. The history we studied was also very different. Before, I had been learning Russian as a second language; now, it was English. This was hard for me. Indeed, there were moments when I truly believed my tongue simply was not made to speak English.
Because so much of the curriculum was new and strange to me, I fell behind. For the first time in my life, I began to wonder if I was simply not smart enough for school.
Fortunately I had a teacher who taught me to be patient. He taught me that steady and consistent work—patient persistence—would help me to learn.
Over time, difficult subjects became clearer—even English. Slowly I began to see that if I applied myself consistently, I could learn. It didn’t come quickly, but with patience, it did come.
From that experience, I learned that patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort.
There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!
Impatience, on the other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed. It arises from the all-too-prevalent condition called “center of the universe” syndrome, which leads people to believe that the world revolves around them and that all others are just supporting cast in the grand theater of mortality in which only they have the starring role.
How different this is, my dear brethren, from the standard the Lord has set for us as priesthood holders.

Patience, a Principle of the Priesthood

As priesthood bearers and representatives of the Lord Jesus Christ, we must serve others in a manner consistent with His example. There is a reason that almost every lesson on priesthood leadership at some point arrives at the 121st section of the Doctrine and Covenants. In a few verses, the Lord provides a master course in priesthood leadership. “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.”2
The character traits and practices described in these verses are the foundation of godly patience and are inseparably connected to effective priesthood and patriarchal service. These attributes will give you strength and wisdom in magnifying your callings, in preaching the gospel, in fellowshipping quorum members, and in giving the most important priesthood service—which is indeed the loving service within the walls of your own homes.
Let us always remember that one of the reasons God has entrusted the priesthood to us is to help prepare us for eternal blessings by refining our natures through the patience which priesthood service requires.
As the Lord is patient with us, let us be patient with those we serve. Understand that they, like us, are imperfect. They, like us, make mistakes. They, like us, want others to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Never give up on anyone. And that includes not giving up on yourself.
I believe that every one of us, at one time or another, can identify with the servant in Christ’s parable who owed money to the king and who pled with the king, saying, “Lord, have patience with me.”3

The Lord’s Way and Time

The children of Israel waited 40 years in the wilderness before they could enter the promised land. Jacob waited 7 long years for Rachel. The Jews waited 70 years in Babylon before they could return to rebuild the  temple. The Nephites waited for a sign of Christ’s birth, even knowing that if the sign did not come, they would perish. Joseph Smith’s trials in Liberty Jail caused even the prophet of God to wonder, “How long?”4
In each case, Heavenly Father had a purpose in requiring that His children wait.
Every one of us is called to wait in our own way. We wait for answers to prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can’t possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer.
I remember when I was preparing to be trained as a fighter pilot. We spent a great deal of our preliminary military training in physical exercise. I’m still not exactly sure why endless running was considered such an essential preparatory part of becoming a pilot. Nevertheless, we ran and we ran and we ran some more.
As I was running I began to notice something that, frankly, troubled me. Time and again I was being passed by men who smoked, drank, and did all manner of things that were contrary to the gospel and, in particular, to the Word of Wisdom.
I remember thinking, “Wait a minute! Aren’t I supposed to be able to run and not be weary?” But I was weary, and I was overtaken by people who were definitely not following the Word of Wisdom. I confess, it troubled me at the time. I asked myself, was the promise true or was it not?
The answer didn’t come immediately. But eventually I learned that God’s promises are not always fulfilled as quickly as or in the way we might hope; they come according to His timing and in His ways. Years later I could see clear evidence of the temporal blessings that come to those who obey the Word of Wisdom—in addition to the spiritual blessings that come immediately from obedience to any of God’s laws. Looking back, I know for sure that the promises of the Lord, if perhaps not always swift, are always certain.

Patience Requires Faith

Brigham Young taught that when something came up which he could not comprehend fully, he would pray to the Lord, “Give me patience to wait until I can understand it for myself.”5 And then Brigham would continue to pray until he could comprehend it.
We must learn that in the Lord’s plan, our understanding comes “line upon line, precept upon precept.”6 In short, knowledge and understanding come at the price of patience.
Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness.

Patience, a Fruit of the Spirit7

Patience is a godly attribute that can heal souls, unlock treasures of knowledge and understanding, and transform ordinary men and women into saints and angels. Patience is truly a fruit of the Spirit.
Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich.
Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.”8 Ultimately, patience means being “firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord”9 every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so. In the words of John the Revelator, “Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and … faith [in] Jesus.”10
Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls.11Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls.12 Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. This was true in the time of the Savior. It is true in our time as well, for we are commanded in these latter days to “continue in patience until ye are perfected.”13

The Lord Blesses Us for Our Patience

To paraphrase the Psalmist of old, if we wait patiently for the Lord, He will incline unto us. He will hear our cries. He will bring us out of a horrible pit and set our feet upon a solid rock. He will put a new song in our mouths, and we will praise our God. Many around us will see it, and they will trust in the Lord.14
My dear brethren, the work of patience boils down to this: keep the commandments; trust in God, our Heavenly Father; serve Him with meekness and Christlike love; exercise faith and hope in the Savior; and never give up. The lessons we learn from patience will cultivate our character, lift our lives, and heighten our happiness. They will help us to become worthy priesthood bearers and faithful disciples of our Master, Jesus Christ.
It is my prayer that patience will be a defining characteristic of we who hold the priesthood of Almighty God; that we will courageously trust the Lord’s promises and His timing; that we will act toward others with the patience and compassion we seek for ourselves; and that we will continue in patience until we are perfected. In the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen.

 

Mothers Who Know

I remember sitting listening to Sister Beck's talk on Mother's Who Know.  I was moved and inspired. I know many women were insulted (the internet went crazy with people upset with the high expectations)  But I LOVED it.  I'm not perfect and don't consider myself anywhere close to what she describes, but it's what I HOPE to BECOME.  Here is the text from her talk.  I grabbed it from here.  It continues to be inspiration to me and a goal to live by.

There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.

In the Book of Mormon we read about 2,000 exemplary young men who were exceedingly valiant, courageous, and strong. “Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him” (Alma 53:21). These faithful young men paid tribute to their mothers. They said, “Our mothers knew it” (Alma 56:48). I would suspect that the mothers of Captain Moroni, Mosiah, Mormon, and other great leaders also knew.
The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world, we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they “wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12).1 However, mothers need not fear. When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good on their children.

Mothers Who Know Bear Children

Mothers who know desire to bear children. Whereas in many cultures in the world children are “becoming less valued,”2 in the culture of the gospel we still believe in having children. Prophets, seers, and revelators who were sustained at this conference have declared that “God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”3 President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that “in the eternal perspective, children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels.”4
Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve (see Moses 4:26), Sarah (see Genesis 17:16), Rebekah (see Genesis 24:60), and Mary (see 1 Nephi 11:13–20), who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (see D&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.

Mothers Who Know Honor Sacred Ordinances and Covenants

Mothers who know honor sacred ordinances and covenants. I have visited sacrament meetings in some of the poorest places on the earth where mothers have dressed with great care in their Sunday best despite walking for miles on dusty streets and using worn-out public transportation. They bring daughters in clean and ironed dresses with hair brushed to perfection; their sons wear white shirts and ties and have missionary haircuts. These mothers know they are going to sacrament meeting, where covenants are renewed. These mothers have made and honor temple covenants. They know that if they are not pointing their children to the temple, they are not pointing them toward desired eternal goals. These mothers have influence and power.

Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers

Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness.5 To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women.

Mothers Who Know Are Leaders

Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization. These mothers plan for the future of their organization. They plan for missions, temple marriages, and education. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Mothers who know build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like. They do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most.

Mothers Who Know Are Teachers

Mothers who know are always teachers. Since they are not babysitters, they are never off duty. A well-taught friend told me that he did not learn anything at church that he had not already learned at home. His parents used family scripture study, prayer, family home evening, mealtimes, and other gatherings to teach. Think of the power of our future missionary force if mothers considered their homes as a pre–missionary training center. Then the doctrines of the gospel taught in the MTC would be a review and not a revelation. That is influence; that is power.

Mothers Who Know Do Less

Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power.

Mothers Who Know Stand Strong and Immovable

Who will prepare this righteous generation of sons and daughters? Latter-day Saint women will do this—women who know and love the Lord and bear testimony of Him, women who are strong and immovable and who do not give up during difficult and discouraging times. We are led by an inspired prophet of God who has called upon the women of the Church to “stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord.”6 He has asked us to “begin in [our] own homes”7 to teach children the ways of truth. Latter-day Saint women should be the very best in the world at upholding, nurturing, and protecting families. I have every confidence that our women will do this and will come to be known as mothers who “knew” (Alma 56:48). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.